February 2011
I do.
I believe in trust, in love, in miracles, and in faith. It just takes a steady mind for these things to exist.
31/365
I slipped.
I fell through the cracks and no one could hear me for help.
I never wanted to believe this was me and I could let myself get this way.
I’ve left.
I’ve given myself some time, to step, to just simply slip away.
Once I’m back, I’ll tell you all.
January 2011
30/365 You may cry, craving girl.
You’re the girl who enjoys the attention. You crave for it more than you crave for your actual needs. When no one is around, you pretend you’re okay. Tossing your hair, spinning in circles with your bright lights, you pretend you’re infinite. Pretend that you are happy. Truth is, you aren’t happy. You struggle so much in these circles you continue to trace. You may cry from...
I think the lonely world that I live in was...
29/365
I want you to know that you drew the line today. And I’m erasing it by erasing you. There is no looking back to what may happen from this. I’m ready to forget about you.
1 tag
28/365
I’m so happy to have you in my life. All of you. When you’re down please realize that someone out there cares. If you refuse to believe this, pray for your stubborn mind. There are people who care. One of those people, is me.
2 tags
2 tags
27/365
Things I did today that I’m terrified of doing:
1. Eat by myself.
2. Sat alone.
3. Drove carelessly.
4. Not caring.
I’m listening to your whisper. So soft, so clear. I’m wondering what it is that controls your inner thoughts, and why it is you don’t fear.
Reblog this...if you hate yourself.
26/365
Day 26
I look forward to those spinning colors that lay endlessly throughout the morning’s sky.
I watch. Not only do I stare, but I think.
I remember what it feels like to be in an appealing place with a loathsome mindset.
I cry. Not only because I think, but I stare.
Regardless of how I feel, or what I think, I’m surrounded by these lovely things.
I dream a lot. I do more painting when I'm not...
Click for a smile. →
4 tags
25/365
I want more on my lonely walls. They stand there soaking my words, for every fight that has occurred. White, and cold as winter. They stand alone in my endless dreams.
I took out my journal today. I couldn't do it....
I’m happy to tell you, that you’ve won.
You defeated me.
How does that make you feel?
To let others fall while you believe you stand above?
24/365
Today I’ve realized so much in the short amount of time given.
I appreciate you three so much:
Angie- you’re always here when I need you to be. You have help me grown and I’m so thankful to know someone of your kind. You’re beautiful regardless of what the matter is, and you always know how to cheer someone up. I’m so thankful for your golden heart.
Trent- you...
23/365
Crossing these train tracks for days, keeps the good times drift away.
Drinking from a wine glass feels nice even though you can’t contain your mind.
I’m beginning to count my footsteps and track my pace.
For whatever I do and for wherever I go, I’m away from this place.
22/365: i have a problem. i'm addicted to ihop.
21/365
I’m capable of feeling anything. But I’m not wanting to feel everything at this point.
This is my secret place. The place I like to vent....
20/365
I’m still hurting myself. And it wasn’t till tonight that I noticed this feeling. I feel as if I dropped hard. My mind is pacing while my heart is racing and I’m so disappointed in myself. I lay here, staring at the dark ceiling wondering why it is that I do this to myself. It’s the first thing I think about when I wake up and it’s even in my dreams. I regret telling...
1 tag
I don't know what is overcoming me.
I write about being happy, and when I see it written, I believe it. But after I leave, I lay in bed for hours realizing I’m not happy. I try so hard to be happy. For you, for me, and for everyone else. But I’m not. And I’m not going to try anymore.
It’s an emotion. It will be here again. But for now? I’ll be the one waiting.
I was so happy
I was so happy before I came home. I’m stuck in this room with walls I’ve covered up for years. They’re covered with hope, art, and my past struggles.
And I can’t seem to get rid of it all.
I was so happy, and now I’m not.
If only you knew how many times I rethink the...
1 tag
15/365
“Give me peace and chemicals, I want to run into you.”
I feel this is appropriate for my day.
How fast we burn How fast we cry The more we learn The more we die The more we learn The more we cry How fast we burn How fast we die I hear the planet crying now I hear the planet crying now
1 tag
14/365
I’m waiting at this bus sign for the second time, on the second night of the week. I have time to read every word written, scratched out, and every piece of gum that connects to another piece. I’m waiting at this bus sign, you see? I’m waiting to find my happiness.
When the bus arrives, I’m gone.
I notice every window pass me up as if time was trapping down on me.
...
13/365
I can’t wait to get lost in your eyes on the next visit.
It’s day thirteen, and I’m going to bed with a sick body but healthy mind.
4 tags
12/365
I’m going to dedicate this day only to one person:
Austin Hilliard.
Happy Birthday, angel.
3 tags
Austin
Today is your birthday, and you get to celebrate it with the angels. At the same time, I’m simply jealous and also selfish at the fact of wanting you to be here. For you to sit in front of a table, filled with candles and endless wishes, with your loving family, that’s what I want more than anything.
But I understand now that death is natural. It’s going to happen to every...
11/365
I’m sick tonight.
Today I have felt terrible and I pray to God that he keeps me company in my dreams tonight.
I wish he was happy.
2 tags
9/365
Today is day nine. You can hide this if you’d like. Or unfollow me if you must. But, I’m going to actually write about how I feel, considering this is my blog and it is your choice rather or not to read it.
I feel as if the ones I want to care most, care the least, and I’m not sure how to handle it. I want to pile up my problems in one that way they could all leave me at the...
8/365
I keep the lamp on in the other room. I like to pretend you’re still here.
Even though you’re far away now, I know you’re still near.
7/365
This day was a bad one. I can’t explain the way I feel right now. Once I figure it out, I promise to let you know.
6/365
I’m developing the feeling of relief. It’s good, and I like it. I shall cherish this night until I simply fall asleep.
I should describe my day, but it wasn’t good overall. I’ll be posting some beautiful pictures shortly, though. I love Angela.
I can't lie to you anymore. I'm not happy.
2 tags
Collapsing on cold sheets while watching the warm...
5/365
Today is day 5. I’m worried. I wish you were happy, dad. I love you but i don’t have much to say. I’ll pray tonight.
